Saturday, June 06, 2009

The Secret Life of Students


I used to wonder about these things but I get it now.

Why you refuse to go on a food plan. It’s all you can eat and it’s cheap.
It really is gross and not cheap either.

Then why can’t you stick to a reasonable food budget? There must be lots of cheap food around college campuses.
Have you seen the price of a cup of coffee lately. You can only eat so many burritos. It all adds up.

Why are there so many “lost key” charges on your bill?
It’s really easy to lose your keys and the University charges are punitive.

Why can't you get along with the campus police?
Because they don't like students. We're their 'bad guys'.

How can your clothes get soooo nasty. Don’t they have machines at your school?
Yes but they are expensive and inconvenient.

I send you things through the mail and you don’t even bother to go to your mailbox.
I can’t open my mailbox because its 1,000 years old, has a fiddly combination that doesn’t work.

What’s this “Incomplete” on your transcript. You have nothing to do but put your head down and finish your work.
So have you seen the syllabus for my course – 8 mini-papers, one big paper, a presentation, a simulation and a final not to mention the reading. Finishing ain’t as easy as it looks.

Why don’t you call?
Because I’m having too much fun.